How to have a good relationship with parents ( A helpfull guide)

REALISTIC WAYS OF MAINTAINING A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS
(A helpful guide)

It is generally believed that once a child becomes a teenager he becomes naturally and uncontrollably stubborn, lazy, disobedient and wanting to do everything that comes to their mind…… like my mommy usually  says “it’s a critical spirit that must be chased out”……..lol, I’ll believe that to an extent because once I clocked 13, I always wanted to be free to do anything that comes to my mind and go to places that seriously didn’t have any impact on my destiny but the true fact still remains that teens want to try new things, learn new things, have plans on their own which is really cool and great, all this activities and eagerness make them want to be free,let me cite this great illustration:

“My life has been a peaceful one since when I was little, I’m naturally quiet and reserved and kind of curious, but I had one problem, which was the relationship with my dad, my dad always told me and my siblings to focus more on academics than any other thing else, which means I don’t do sports or play with friends, I’ll just stay right in my house doing my assignment, reading my books which gradually became less interesting, and watch other children play……..till now I don’t know why he did that, I grew up tall, cool and reserved (I had few friends though),Once I grew to a matured stage in my life, it seemed like my parents didn’t understand me again, it seemed all I did were like trash to them, when I’m given instruction, I forget most of the time and  when I try to explain that I forgot, no one believes me, I hear words like ‘you are lazy, you are stubborn, you can’t obey instruction, you need to remove that irresponsibility from your life etc’, because of this I preferred staying back at school (a boarding secondary school) than coming home, I took me time to realize what was actually going on and now I’m on good terms with my parents……well to an extent” 

I did a research on Facebook and I noticed that most teenagers all over the world have issues with their parents, when I say issues I mean (argument, fights, anger, bitterness and even to the extent of leaving their homes). I have come to realize that the major cause of consistent argument and disagreement between parents and teenagers is LACK OF UNDERSTANDING between both sides and this is real, it happens. Each one, feeling he is the right one, mummy saying “you are wrong” and Son saying “you are old school mom”, this and more causes great conflict in homes. So I did a little research and with my full experience on this issue I’m giving out the 6 ways to build, maintain and grow a good relationship between teens and parents (enjoy):

          6 WAYS TO MAINTAIN GOOD RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TEENS AND PARENTS

1. BE MATURED: I think this is the most important point, teenagers need to take note of, you can’t expect your parents to treat you like a grown man/woman when you still have the mentality of an 8years old, You treat a baby like a baby……. when I was in my first year in university I called my mummy every single day and I told her every single thing I did and how I did it, my roommates tried to advise me against it  but I didn’t listen, at last, when I decided to stop behaving like a baby and stop calling her every day, it backfired because she began calling me up to 3 times a day asking  *unnecessary questions* like have you eaten, have you Bathed, Are you in the Lecture Room etc, she even scolded me at times as if I was a baby, I had to start behaving like a matured boy, by calling and explaining to her that I’m now a man, she should reduce the extreme affection on me like I was in preschool and I also  started using my initiative to do some necessary things and stop some things. Think and Act like a matured person, let go of the *small* mind controlling you and brace up, when you do this, your parents will surely respect your decisions and rate you higher.

2. BE CAREFUL OF THE TYPE OF ADVICE YOU GET: I made this mistake a lot, every single time I had issues with any of my family members, I told my friends and those friends told their friends and before I knew it I was getting different kinds of advice from different kinds of people both good and foolish and it made me more confused. Getting a good friend helps a lot in so many ways, have a good friend that you trust and relate with well and ask for good advice. Telling “everyone” your problem with your parents leads you to a state of total confusion and dangerous way of handling situations like that.

3, EXPLAIN TO THEM: This doesn’t work all the time but it worth trying, you can do this using two methods:
Have a chat with one of your parents that you are closer to (I’m closer to my mum), explain things to him/her, tell him/her that you also got plans for your life and that you are gradually becoming an adult, therefore some understanding should be given to you and a little “space”, if you say it right with respect, I assure you that you will be understood and probably your workload (house chores) will be reduced…………lol.
If you are bold enough (not like the former me), you could even tell your parents you want to see them to discuss on some issues, when the opportunity comes, talk things through with them, to make things easier, start with something fun or interesting and gradually you could switch topics when they seem excited and happy or preferably if they are having a conversation and you are involved you could start from there.

4. HAVE ALIGNED PLANS: Every *normal* teen has plans, though plans vary and every parent got plans for the child…….I always wanted to make music (a music producer), but that didn’t go well with my dad, he didn’t like anything drums or noise, he just wanted me to be on the keyboard practicing each day, I did practice and I transferred my knowledge on the keys to fl studio and since my dad didn’t like noise I woke up in the middle of the night and made my beats which worked ,though daytime became my night and I started getting different questions from my mum if I was sick, which I wasn’t, just stress…..what I’m trying to say is that it’s possible to have plans and then align it with your parents own in a way……..ok,let me use this example…(my plan for a Saturday)

WHAT TO DO    TIME FRAME
    
WAKE UP            7:00am
      
EAT                      8:00am-8:30am
      
PLAY GAMES    8:30am-11:30am
      
READ NOVELS    11:30am-12:30   
                  
And I’m supposed to perform my normal house chores every day, ok ....so what I’ll do is to push the eating a little bit down ,then I’ll say my prayers every morning and perform all my house chores, then I won’t  have much problem again.

5.LOVE THEM: Teenagers get it all wrong here……if you don’t love your parents you won’t understand them and if you don’t understand them you won’t be able to share your feelings, emotions etc with them (I know they do lots of annoying things that we don’t love), but you got to try. Have you noticed that if you hate a lecturer you got 80% total assurance of failing his course, I mean 80% because lack of interest causes lack of focus which will eventually result in total failure(I’m serious it happens……well to me), you need your parents more than you can ever imagine, so please love them not hate.

6. DON’T LOSE HOPE: I was passing through my street one day and I heard a mother cursing her child, I was definitely stunned but what will I have done, a child like that will feel discouraged and will gradually develop the intention of either running away or committing suicide, you may be facing serious problems with your parents, don’t lose hope, yeah, never lose hope, love yourself more than ever and try the methods listed above, I promise you’ll be fine. *winks*

I personally want to thank all those who encourage and support me by SHARING my posts; I really appreciate you guys, please SHARE this and impact more TEENAGERS positively, if we can assist and encourage more teens all over the world, I think the world will be a better place.

Also, if you have any comment or you got any piece of advice for the blog, you can comment below or send an email to reateeblogs@gmail.com. I’ll sincerely appreciate it.ONE LOVE GUYS.

                                                            Stay Lifted

Please follow us on Google+ - Real Tee
Like our Facebook Page - Teens Lift
Follow us on Twitter - @iamrealtee